When you are a mom, self-care can seem like a luxury. Being a mom is incredibly rewarding, and can also be very stressful. While there are many happy moments and joyous occasions, the reality is motherhood can come with feelings of overwhelm, fatigue, loneliness, anxiety, loss of self, feeling hormonal and not quite yourself…oh, yeah, and a nonexistent libido.
Who has time for self-care?
After all, there are diapers to be changed, a house to clean, meals to prepare, and more. It can seem like you don’t have time for yourself and you may even feel pressure to put everyone else’s needs before your own.
However, when you do better, the whole family does better! Truly, the best way to support them is to take care of yourself first! That means self-care isn’t optional, it is necessary!
Self-care is far more than a massage.
It is taking time to exercise, eat healthily, take breaks in your day, and add relaxation and joy.
Self-care is daily activities you do to support your physical, mental & emotional well-being. It is NOT just getting a massage once a fortnight. Don’t get me wrong – a massage can be wonderful for many reasons. It’s just not enough all by itself – especially if you’re only getting one occasionally.
Please know that having a shower or going to the toilet by yourself is not self-care. They are basic needs! I get that going to the toilet alone may not always be possible, but make every effort (where age appropriate) to get that time alone.
Ask for help.
Talk to your spouse, family, and friends so that you get some time just for you to do the things that you enjoy. Be firm in needing that. Alone time is a huge part of self-care as a mom. It allows you to have an identity separate from motherhood and provides an opportunity to do things that you enjoy, whether that be a hobby, socializing with friends, or simply sitting in the park or a cafe reading a book.
Alone time is a vital component of self-care.
Find ways you can get a few hours, or more, to yourself each week. Ask your support network when they can look after the kids so you can have that sacred time. You may be able to get a few solid hours in one day per week, or an hour a day a few times per week spread between a few people – all of those solutions add up to giving you some much-needed self-care time.
Set boundaries with yourself and others.
Are there things on your plate that you can get rid of? Are you over-committing? It is 100% okay to say no…and not feel bad about it! You don’t have to do all the things and be everything to everyone all the time. That isn’t realistic or sustainable.
Keeping things simple is another form of self-care that your body and mind will appreciate.
When you make dinner, only make one meal. The kids eat what you eat, period. Make one-pot meals or use the pressure cooker so that meal prep and clean up is easier.
Look at batch cooking and baking so you don’t have to worry about making anything on the days you simply don’t have the physical or mental capacity to do so. You can ask for help from others with this so the task doesn’t seem so overwhelming.
Self-care is so important as a mother because it supports you physically, mentally, and emotionally and has a flow effect on to your family that will benefit them as well.
Written by: Jen Knutson, MA, MS
Need help?
Book in with Traditional Naturopath & Nutritionist, Jen Knutson to learn how to care for yourself through diet, lifestyle, and proper supplementation.
https://thesparrowcenter.com/naturopath-services/
Check out this blog post for more self-care tips: https://thesparrowcenter.com/are-you-doing-self-care-all-wrong